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Love Him Or Leave Him, but Don't Get Stuck With the Tab by Loni Love - Laugh- out-loud, no-nonsense relationship advice from Loni Love—comedian and. BOOK REVIEW: 'Love Him or Leave Him But Don't Get Stuck with the Tab' by Loni Love. 19/07/ | Comments: 0 | Posted by: lonilove | In: Loni In the News. 3 days ago "The Real" co-host Loni Love shares lessons on love and life in book.

Loni Love Book

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Love Him Or Leave Him, but Don't Get Stuck With the Tab and millions of other books are available for instant access. Laugh-out-loud, no-nonsense relationship advice from Loni Love—comedian and co-host of The Real on Fox and BET—reminding women that putting yourself first is. Editorial Reviews. Unknown. “Loni Love gives wise funny advice straight from the heart. Through over-the-top humor and blunt truth, Loni Love's how-to book on romance seems to encourage women to love themselves first—and the men. Love Him or Leave Him, But Don't Get Stuck With the Tab book. Read 64 I LOVE Loni, but I didn't like the format of the book which made it hard to finish.

Visit LoniLove. At the pageant, I hit the stage in patent leather shoes and a starched pink dress, but I had so many braids in my hair that my tiara slid right o my head! When I bent down to pick it up, I slipped and landed on my behind. Everyone burst out laughing. But instead of feeling embarrassed I jumped up with a huge smile on my face. I realized that day that making people laugh makes me happy. In fact, its the very reason I left my job as an engineer to become an entertainer.

He probably owes them money, a phone call, or both. When I want to know what kind of man Im dealing with, I look at his shoes. If hes wearing some nice hard-soled shoes, I know hes solid, dependable, and is probably the type of man to carry a condom in his wallet.

If hes wearing sneakers, thats okay, as long as theyre clean and have laces. I dont trust a man who wears shoes that close with Velcro.

Thats just lazy. Now, if he shows up for dinner wearing ip- ops, you better run for the hills. A man who wears ip- ops to dinner doesnt take anything seriously. Hes the kind of man who will make fart jokes when youre trying to tell him about your horrible day at work or laugh at you if you trip and fall on your ass before he checks to see if youre okay.

Trust me, even if you have a cushiony ass like mine, falling on your behind hurts. The last thing you need is your man laughing at you like hes a ve-year-old at the circus. You want a man who treats you like a prize, not a clown.

The other great thing about rst dates is they give you a chance to re ne your First Date Lookthats the out t and hairstyle that makes you feel most comfortable, beautiful, and con dent. Even if you think your date might be a dud, its still a great opportunity to try out a new look, get a new weave, or buy yourself a dress that exposes, er I mean shows o your best assets.

For example, you might not know this about me, but I have exquisite knees, so whenever Im on a date I always wear a skirt that shows them o. When I was growing up, Momma Love always used to tell me, Dont hide your light under a bushel. Well, the same can be said about dating: Got good cans? Show the girls! Well-toned arms? Wear a tube top! Youre going on a date, not to Bible study. Most important of all, on a rst date, pay attention to the way the man treats you. Does he give you his undivided attention, or does he check his cell phone every ten minutes?

Does he order his meal before you or patiently wait until youve asked the waiter to list all the ingredients of every dish? Does he seem interested in what you have to say, or does he constantly change the topic to sex and when hes going to get some?

Even the way he walks down the street with you says a lot.

A man who walks side by side with a woman sees her as his equal. A man who walks ahead expects to run the show. And a man who lags behind?

Why, thats an ass man! But if youre built like Sofa Vergara, then congratulations, girl! You may just have met your Mr. How many times can I call him before he thinks Im crazy? Everything you need to know about rst impressions, rst dates, and the a-hole who never called you back. Dear Loni, Im a teacher.

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I go to school, come home, go to bed, and start the whole thing all over again. I feel like life is passing me by. Any advice for how I can get back into the swing of things? Signed, Getting an F in Fun. Dear Fun, Honey, life is too short to spend it grading papers.

But I understand how easy it is to get caught up with work. Im a road comic. Every weekThursday through SundayI perform at night, do press during the day, and try to catch Then I do it all over again the next week, in a di erent city.

Love Him Or Leave Him, but Don't Get Stuck With the Tab

It got to a point where I was on the road so much that even my good friends stopped calling. In fact, the only time my phone rang was when telemarketers called. One time it was a saleswoman trying to sell me a sex aid. I didnt need a fake penis, but the saleslady and I struck up a great conversation. I had no idea dildos came in so many di erent shapes, colors, and sizes!

As nice as Sally the Salesperson was, when I got o the phone I realized it was time to make some changes. I needed to nd time for a social life and to meet a man with a real penis. Now when I travel to another city, I make a point of meeting a friend who lives there for lunch. And when I come home, I schedule dinner dates, brunches, and get-togethers.

These small steps have really improved my quality of life. It feels good to know that when the phone rings its a friend and not someone trying to give me a two-for-one deal on pleasure sticks. Uploaded by Simon and Schuster. Love him. Leave him.

Every woman deserves a healthy, satisfying, exciting love life, so what are you waiting for? Loni Love has all the answers. Flag for inappropriate content. For Later. Related titles. Jump to Page. Search inside document. More From Simon and Schuster. Simon and Schuster.

Unwanteds 5: Mouseheart 2: Hopper's Destiny by Lisa Fiedler Excerpt. Unwanteds 6: Popular in Courtship. Apparently women approach her all the tim This was a really nice way to end Apparently women approach her all the time like they are BFFs.

After standup shows, they wait for her in the bathroom or hang out at the meet and greet and then ask really personal questions. Lots of TMI. When you have this much power, you write a book. She covers all aspects of dating and love. First dates to throwing a man out of your house. Recovering from dating disasters to dealing with his baby momma. Unless you trade her one of your exes.

Or do want to get married. The absolutely best part of this book is that Love has a story for everything. She details her own disasters and lays everything on the table. Also, there will probably be pancakes.

From my book review blog at: Although it was provided at no cost to me, I am under no obligation to give a positive review. A relationship and sex advice book for women? Somehow, I might not be the target audience for this book.

But at the same time, it is always nice to see what advice is being given to the fairer sex. T From my book review blog at: That said, this book was hilarious. The premise of this book is simple: At one point, she doles out the following advice: But the real catch of this book is the manner Love dishes out her advice. The format is much like an advice column, where Love poses a question from a woman and then replies in her own inimitable style.

This is done in a very laid back, comical manner that is straight to the point. She also provides many real-world examples, many of which I presume are fabricated, to make her point. So if you want some great, no-nonsense advice about life and relationships, this is definitely your book. View 1 comment. Aug 01, Kimberly Hicks rated it it was amazing Recommends it for: Two snaps up for this comedic book and great advice from one of America's top female comedians, Loni Love.

This woman is a complete fool, and I mean that in the most kindest regards.

Loni is absolutely brilliant in her book and what she advises women is definitely golden. I laughed so hard at the questions women asked her that I couldn't just read without stopping--I had to bookmark my Kindle page, while engaging in bust-your-gut-type of laughter. OMG, I was in tears this book was so damn funny, Two snaps up for this comedic book and great advice from one of America's top female comedians, Loni Love.

OMG, I was in tears this book was so damn funny, and so true. Loni should have been a psychiatrist for real! Girlfriend has it going on in the advice area, and what I love about her is that we are definitely on the same damn page. She's truly awesome! But I have to say, my all-time favorite part of the book, which there are so many sections I absolutely loved, but the story she told about "embarrassing moments" and what happened at her "romantic dinner" date, I think I laughed for a good twenty minutes and I still couldn't read the next paragraph because the visual she gave of what happened that night I am still laughing about it.

In fact, thinking back on it, I'm still laughing. I don't want to give anything away here. Downright hilarious! I may read this again just for the hell of it.

What a Great Read!!!! Aug 01, Emily rated it liked it Shelves: I know the world is a messed up place but damn if you ever had doubts about trust In this book Loni gives her fans advice on a wide spectrum on relationship issues. A surprising amount or what felt like half of them were people fessing up to cheating on their significant other, or how someone witnesses their friend's other half cheating.

This book was pretty much a compilation o I know the world is a messed up place but damn if you ever had doubts about trust This book was pretty much a compilation of 'Dear Loni, I need advice letters'. Loni's responses were amusing to read. Some were humble with a funny zing at the very end. A lot were her personal humiliating stories, a small amount were about people she knew. Loni would also give advice via lists. She really loves making lists who doesn't? Some made for good laughs but most just became too unrealistic for advice.

This book is a quick read. A good amount is humorous the advice that involves an embarrassing story, flying wigs! If you want some fun reads pick up this book. If you have doubts about your significant other's integrity this book will make you suspicious ;P Sep 19, Monica Williams rated it it was amazing.

Loni Love tells it like it is. She has great presence and is one funny lady! With her trademark blend of humor and good solid common sense advice she helps women deal with their real romantic issues.

Much of her advice comes from things her own mother, "Momma Love" taught her. Her advice is based on the fact that women need to put themselves first and then their relationships. The title pretty much sums up her who Loni Love tells it like it is. The title pretty much sums up her whole approach.

Do what is best for you and make sure you don't get stuck with the tab, an STD, a baby, or any other relationship consequence. I'm not really one for advice book, but this one is a winner!

It nicely balances serious real advice with funny stuff. Mar 09, Missy Michaels rated it really liked it. I enjoyed this relationship book. It's definitely tongue in cheek but she keeps her advice real. She uses a Dear Loni, advice column type format throughout the book.

I really liked that and I enjoyed reading her responses. All of her topics came accompanied with lists. I enjoyed those lists, they were my favorite part of reading her book.

Loni Love Book | BlackDoctor

The book is humorous of course but it never really made me laugh out loud. One thing I really respected about the advice that she doled out on the pages is tha I enjoyed this relationship book. One thing I really respected about the advice that she doled out on the pages is that she never condoned unfaithfulness in a relationship no matter how the letter writer presented their situation. I enjoyed this enough to recommend it and to read it again.

Sep 13, Ash rated it liked it. I admit it: After that, I kind of loved her so when she promoted her book: Love Him or Leave Him, I immediately asked my local library for it.

It's honest and unflinching, not to mention, funny. It has her signature sort of sarcastic humour and her everlasting love of bacon. I enjoyed it because underneath that bacon love is honest and practical advice about love and insi I admit it: I enjoyed it because underneath that bacon love is honest and practical advice about love and insights of Loni Love's romantic escapades.

I hope she writes again and that The Talk gets picked up! Aug 11, Nicole Falls rated it really liked it.

BOOK REVIEW: ‘Love Him or Leave Him But Don’t Get Stuck with the Tab’ by Loni Love

I laughed my way through this book in just a few short hours. Filled to the brim with no nonsense advice about dating and love, Love tells it like it is. Written in a style that combines a straight narrative with an old school advice column, Love covers every aspect of relationships from courtship to marriage. My favorite bits were when she incorporated a real life example to illustrate points that she made. Whether or not these examples were actually true were not relevant to me.

Highly recomme I laughed my way through this book in just a few short hours. Highly recommended for those who are looking for some tongue-in-cheek advice that is the opposite of the stuff so-called relationship experts are shilling these days!

Feb 02, Ursula Shelton rated it really liked it.

I am a big fan of Loni Love from the show The Real, who knew that she had skills giving advice or writing a really helpful book. I am giving this book a four; Ms. Love gives great advice to those of us who need it. However, it is not just advice, but it's funny and extremely practical. The book is a charmer and the cover is so beautiful with Loni dressed in red.

Her message is consistent throughout: If women make themselves the priority, everything else will fall into place. She's the best boo anyone could hope to have. Any woman who has been treated like a carpet in past relationships should strap this guide to her torso.

Through over-the-top humor and blunt truth, Loni Love's how-to book on romance seems to encourage women to love themselves first—and the men will follow. Loni Love is a force to be reckoned with. She will give you confidence, boost your game, and call you out on all your stupid decisions. She's like Simon Cowell with a weave. By clicking 'Sign me up' I acknowledge that I have read and agree to the privacy policy and terms of use. Must redeem within 90 days.

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